Bonfire + Bloom is an equal responsibility parenting blog where we explore the ways in which responsibilities are (or are not) being shared within modern households.
I was inspired to start this project after failing, for more than 4 years, to start a business.
I knew in my gut that my family was meant to shake the world…we were meant to make a difference….and I knew in my gut that I was meant for entrepreneurship.
I just didn’t know how we were meant to make a difference or what business I could possibly start. I had a lot of soul searching and personal development to go through before I would eventually figure out what my family’s purpose is and subsequently find the driving force for my business.
I simply couldn’t figure out how to do everything and be everything for everyone while my two toddlers begged for my constant attention and affection and my husband worked 12 hour nights, 6 days a week.
But in that time of being pulled in opposite directions…homemaking, motherhood, and constant sacrifice VS entrepreneurship, soul searching, and personal development, my health and sense of personal identity had taken a hit. I couldn’t remember how to style my hair any way other than in a messy ponytail. I had no idea what my personal style was….I hadn’t taken time just for myself in ages. Every second my family didn’t require my attention, I was trying to figure out how to change my family’s situation.
As much as I wanted to start a successful business immediately, (and I tried..many times) I couldn’t stick with something once I realized it was not what I was meant to share with the world. I don’t know how to explain it…it just felt gross.
For those 4 years I read article after article, listened to podcast after podcast, watched video after video trying to uncover my purpose, took course after course. But not one of those articles or courses challenged the way women who pursued entrepreneurship took on the traditional roles of both mother and father.
In our society if a women wants a career of any sort she is assumed responsible for all members of the family, all household responsibilities (minus maybe mowing the lawn and cleaning the gutters…), cooking, shopping, the family budget, errands, in addition to building and maintaining her career. (A feat that many single people devote all hours of every day to achieving.)
Which left me itching with curiosity. WHY? Were these married women taking on sole responsibility of raising children, managing the household, AND bringing home the bacon???? Did their husbands help with the kids and the house? Why wouldn’t he? Why don’t they feel entitled to the same respect for their work as their husbands do? And why am I shamed for expecting my husband to pull his weight? I had so many questions, all which seemed extremely rude but so necessary to ask.
I know I’m not the only struggling entrepreneurial mom who has come face to face with the monster of balancing time and energy to build a business while almost single-handedly raising young children and somehow still putting effort into maintaining a healthy marriage…but am I the only mom/aspiring entrepreneur raising young children and maintaining a healthy marriage who has even considered changing the way my household is managed so that I CAN build a successful business without..ya know, killing myself in the process?
I mean, I’d like to have time to brush my hair every day…ya know?
If you struggle to identify with the struggles and plights of successful 6 figure corporate, career-driven Harvard graduates and find yourself thinking “If only this bathroom cleaned itself…I’d have more time to work in my business”, stick around. I have a hunch that I’ve found the answer: equal responsibility parenting.
That’s why Bonfire + Bloom was created to empower moms to take care of themselves and the women they love with whatever tools they have at their disposal.
Maybe you live comfortably and aren’t crafty in the least, but you enjoy sending gifts and pampering yourself with self care. For you, I’m working on launching a self care package + gift shop.
If you’re a mom like me and you’re still learning how to take care of yourself on a very tight budget, I’ll be sharing DIY self care packages that you can create for yourself and the women you love…without putting your family further in debt.
You see, when I was inspired to start Bonfire + Bloom it was because I want to break my family out the “just getting by” story we’re all living. I want to see more moms taking care of themselves from a place of self respect and love rather than a place of insecurity and pressure. I want to share my family’s life changing experience with equal responsibility parenting but I know that before I can truly help others I need to learn how to help myself.
I make *almost* all my self care products myself and want to share them with long distance friends and family, so it was a natural fit to decide to launch a self care package + gift shop.
But when I stepped back and really considered the reality of the moms I want to help, I know she’s probably frugal (like me.) She might be a stay at home mom constantly catering to her family or she might be a working mom juggling work, kids, housework, and marriage. Her budget is probably tight enough as it is and she’s probably not in the habit of doing anything for herself unless it also benefits her family.
My goal isn’t to bring in 6 figures for the self care package shop or this blog or any future projects. My goal is to simply make a humble living selling products I believe in, sharing a message I believe in, and having plenty of time leftover to enjoy with my family. For me that means not pushing the products I make and sell as THE self care product for moms. I’m not about pushing sales but I am about pushing progress.
So while I’m super stoked to launch the self care package + gift shop, I also want to share options for DIY moms and moms on a budget. I just want you and me and our moms and sisters and daughters to take care of ourselves so that we can fight for the live we want and know we deserve.
Stick with me as I build the foundations of Bonfire + Bloom. Building something authentically and with integrity takes time and many, many mistakes. So you’ll probably see me make a lot of mistakes in the process of launching the shop and in sharing what we’ve learned about equal responsibility parenting.
Maybe you won’t notice, maybe you will. I’ll try not to let it prevent me from sharing the incredible value I believe Bonfire + Bloom is meant to provide. But in return, you have to try not to let a little thing like not having a ton of money prevent you from taking care of yourself with the same love and respect you give your family when you care for them.